A new lesson learnt

Dear Blog,,
I have left everyone...maybe i did everythng for my friend,, yesternight was a big night...its always about her problems, its always about her daily routine, its always about her likes n dislikes, its always about her cries, its always about her n all her....where is me...the real me..??
Dear blog,

I have no one left but you. I pushed everyone away. I tried to keep them… but maybe I tried too hard. Remember the time I said that she need not have told me because I did not like it? Because it was too painful to hear? Because it made me feel so bad that I could not live with myself? But then why did I do it? Why did I tell her things that I had condemned someone else for telling me? Did I not understand? Could I not relate? Dear blog, how do I live with myself now??
Sometimes I wish I could have been anyone else but me. Sometimes I admire her patience, her ability to hold so much within and not let the world know. Sometimes I admire her open heartedness, she doesn’t mind anything at all! Sometimes I admire the courage with which she bore all the pain I caused her. Sometimes I admire how much she cares for me and how she always makes me feel so good. So sometimes, I wish I had any of their qualities or maybe just the fortune of not knowing what it was like to be a part of them once…

Sometimes the horror only lies within the knowledge that I am inevitably becoming something I never wanned to be.